I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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