so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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