Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
