Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
