hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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