And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize