Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
