It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
