is wine microwaveable?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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