Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
