I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They took my balls.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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