tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
