This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
