I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
