she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize
