If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
