My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
