dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
