Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
