Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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