I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize