So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
