he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
