I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
