I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am one with the molecules
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
