You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
