So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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