Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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