is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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