Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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