you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize