There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the day after is always just damage control
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just pee around me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
