My balls are so social today.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize