I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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