i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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