Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
