I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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