TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Barsexuality is the new black.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
