Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
