there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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