last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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