I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
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Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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