my sisters under your porch take her home
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
