woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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