Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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