soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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