Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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