I heard we made out
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize