U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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