Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
