Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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