I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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