through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
