I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
