The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize