idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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