Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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