her vagine was all disorganized.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
