but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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